Thank You

I want to say thank you to everyone who's been reading.  To everyone that has sent me a message.  To everyone that has commented on my posts.  To everyone that has sent us a card or gift.  To everyone who wouldn't let me get swallowed by my grief.  To everyone that has visited us.  To everyone who has shared their struggles on the path to parenthood with me.  To everyone who has been with us through all of this.  Thank you.  I can't put into words how much it has meant to me and to Adam.

All of the messages of support and love have meant a lot.  Some people I haven't really talked to in years and it meant a lot that they would take the time to say something.

I've been especially surprised and touched by the people who have shared their struggles to become a parent with me.  Some I knew about, but others I never would have known.  It helps to know Adam and I are not the only ones who have had trials and struggles to have a baby.  While I wish none of us had this in common, it's comforting to know that there are others like me (that I actually know) and that I can talk to them about it.

I've also been touched by some messages about how my blog has affected their outlook on some things.  Someone contacted me saying she truly didn't understand what all happens when a mother loses a child, both physically and emotionally.  After reading my blog she has much greater empathy for these families.  Someone else contacted me and said her grandmother lost a child at birth, but was not allowed to grieve the way she wanted to and it affected her for the rest of her life.  She thanked me for speaking for others who couldn't.  The theme was that being open about grief is not always embraced by society and it really struck a chord with me.  No one around me has said anything resembling "Move on" or "Don't talk about it" or "Shouldn't you be over that by now?" or "You need to keep this to yourself."  However, I have felt this overpowering sense that I should be less open and closer to being normal again.  It's as if society in general has engrained this in all of us without us really realizing it.  I understand that grief is difficult and uncomfortable to talk about, but sweeping it under the carpet doesn't make it go away.  I'm sure some people think I shouldn't be so open about my grief and the process of trying to find my new normal, but it has truly helped me and I'm glad to know it's helped others too.  That's society's problem and maybe if more of us talk about it, it will get better.  When I started this blog I was doing it for me, to help myself work through my grief and have a record. It means a lot to know that my posts have in some ways meant something to others.

So again, thank you to all of you for everything. I'm going to keep writing, but probably not every day. I hope you'll stick with me even if I get a bit mundane. That's the goal right? To find and live my new normal? I think I'm on my way. I know I'll have set backs and I'm not there yet, but I'm on the path.