Yesterday (July 10th) was 2 weeks. I didn't write anything because it was a pretty good day overall. We had family visiting and it helped take my mind off of it a bit. I still thought about it a lot, but I was handling it OK. Adam did my C25K with me when he got home from work and I went to bed feeling pretty good overall. I'd ended the day on a high note.
Today started out as a good day too. I met one of my friends for lunch, we got pedicures and ran some errands. It was a lovely afternoon and I felt pretty normal. It went downhill from there. Adam and my 6th anniversary is on Sunday (July 14th). Neither of us really feels like celebrating in a big way. We decided not to exchange gifts either, again we just don't really feel like it. But I do want to get him a card. I can write him a letter and while we don't really feel like celebrating, it is our anniversary and I love him and I want to commemorate that. We truly have been through a lot in these past 6 years, but there's no one else I'd rather go through life's ups and downs with. I know we'll get through this because we have each other. So on my way home I stopped at Hallmark. Reading all of the cards just made me think . . . too much. I ran a couple more errands and then came home.
I checked the mail when I got home. We got a letter from one of Adam's family members that was so nice and it sent me over the edge. I'd been holding it at bay but couldn't anymore. I was glad to get the letter because it allowed me to let go and release the grief I'd been holding in. It was a wave and I let it wash over me. I don't want to live the rest of my life with every Wednesday being a bad day, but it's still too soon.
I felt better once I let it out. The rest of the evening has been OK. The rest of the night I've been feeling kind of down, but better that I did earlier. It just shows that sometimes the grief comes and you need to let it out. Adam will be home soon and we'll go for our walk and it will be a better night.
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