Getaway

This Spring Adam and I started planning a trip with his family to visit a close family friend in Savannah (technically Skidaway Island). We'd decided on a long weekend, July 19 - 22, and the tickets were bought. After everything happened I wasn't sure if my mother in law had cancelled the tickets or not. We talked about it a couple weeks ago and decided to still go (she hadn't cancelled anything and was playing it by ear). We thought it would be good for us to get away for couple days and try to relax and enjoy ourselves.

We had mixed emotions before going, but overall were looking forward to it. We'd be spending time with a family friend we hadn't seen in a while, going to the beach and enjoying historic Savannah. Adam and I were going to leave Thursday after he got off work so we'd be at his parents' in the morning. We were flying out of Louisville. All day I was in a good mood and looking forward to the trip. This was going to be good for us. My mom had been nice enough to come down and animal/house sit for us. We'd spent the day getting last minute things and I packed. It was a good day until Mom went to bed.

I don't know why it hit me then, maybe because I was alone, but I was suddenly upset. It might sound crazy, but I was upset about leaving our daughter. It was the first time we were leaving Lexington since I had her. I took comfort in having her box on the shelf in the closet. When I needed to see her I could. When I needed to let things out, I could pull it down to help. I know we really weren't leaving her, logically, but my heart felt differently. I didn't know what to do. I couldn't take the box and I didn't want to take anything out of it. I pulled the pictures out and told her goodbye. It helped, but I was still upset. I decided to take her bear. It was small, could fit in my purse and it was like I had a part of her with me. I felt a bit crazy, so I kept it to myself.

When Adam got home I told him about my feelings and he was very reassuring. He told me I wasn't crazy and it was totally understandable. I felt a little better and a little less crazy. We got on the road and made good time. After a good night's sleep I felt a lot better.

We got up that morning and went to the airport.  We had a smooth trip (more leg room than I'd expected) and arrived in Savannah in the late afternoon.  We got to our friend's house and enjoyed a relaxing evening of catching up.  The next day we had a lazy morning before heading into Savannah for a day of sightseeing and exploring.  I wore mascara for the first time in over a month (a milestone for me).  We took one of the hop on hop off tours around the historic center.  We had a good guide and I enjoyed all the squares.  We got off down on the River Walk, did some exploring and ate a late lunch.  We finished the tour and then headed back to our friend's house.  We did some more catching up and played a few games.

As we were all going to bed our friend pulled me aside to chat.  We hadn't really talked since everything happened.  She wanted me to know she was always thinking of us and was reading my blog.  She had just read "Reminders" and said she could really relate to it.  Her husband passed away several years ago and she said she still gets them, but it wasn't as bad as when it first happened.  It was nice to talk to her.

The next day was our beach day.  I love to swim, but don't get to often so I was really looking forward to it.  It rained the whole drive out, but when we got close the sun came out.  It was still raining lightly, but it wasn't storming and it eventually stopped.  We had a nice time.  Adam and I especially enjoyed swimming.  I was truly happy as we bobbed in the ocean with the waves, trying to avoid jelly fish.  We ran into one of his cousins randomly on the beach.  We had known that part of the family was going to be there, but hadn't made specific plans to see them.  It was serendipitous.  We ended up meeting them for a late lunch before heading back to our friend's.  When we got back she took us to a place on the island with a view of the inter coastal waters.  It was beautiful.  We came back today.

Overall it was a wonderful trip and it did feel good to get away for a bit.  There were a few times I got a little sad and I had lots of thoughts of, "I was supposed to be pregnant for this trip" (especially when I would see pregnant women) but the good outweighed the bad.  I think having her bear with me helped too.  I saw it every day and I felt better knowing I had some small part of her with me.  Adam saw it the day after we got there and said he was glad I'd brought it too.  I'm really glad we went.  I think it was good for all of us.