We'd officially made it through the critical 48 hours without any sign of infection. I was still trying to keep my emotions in check, but I was hopeful. Things were going better than the doctor had expected so surely that was a good sign right?
That morning a nurse came to get me and take me down to the doctor's office for an ultrasound. Adam came in early that morning (it was his turn to sleep at home the night before) to ensure he was there to go with me. She wrapped several blankets around me in the wheelchair and Adam was in charge of my IV pole. The elevator wasn't so bad, but once we got to the main floor I was nervous. The tiles on the floor have deep crevices between them and I felt every one in the wheelchair. I know logically it really didn't have any effect on my cerclage, but it was nerve racking. We got to the office and went into the first room. I got up on the table and once they were able to quiet my IV machine the ultrasound started. Our daughter still looked good. He heartbeat was strong, she was moving around and the fluid in the amniotic sac was still good (no leaking). That was all good news. The bad news, however, was that my cervix had thinned to the cerclage. It was the only thing keeping my cervix closed at this point, my body wasn't doing anything to help anymore. It looked like the amniotic sac was pooling down there too, another not so great thing. Also, she was still breech so her little feet were still kicking at my cervix (despite my talks to her to turn). We got a couple more pictures of her face and they loaded me back into the wheelchair. Since my doctor would be off for the weekend, he introduced us to the doctor who would be on call since she was in the office. He told us he was going to have the mag stopped. Apparently you can only be on it for a certain number of days (something about it affecting bone density in the baby). I would instead be on an oral medication called Procardia to help relax the uterus. Before we left he also said he wanted me to keep my bladder empty to help relieve some pressure on my uterus, which meant more getting up. Then we went back up to labor and delivery.
Today was not such a great day for me. I only heard bad things during the ultrasound. I had finally given myself permission to hope and then the ultrasound seemed to say, "This is working right now, but it won't for much longer." I had never given myself permission to hope we'd get to 36 weeks, not even 28 weeks. They just didn't seem realistic since I'd been a little over 3 cm dilated once surgery started. My goal was 26 1/2 weeks. It got us past the first milestone, and only a couple weeks shy of the second. They would start me on steroids to help her lungs mature once we made it past 23 weeks, so that gave me more hope that even if she was born before 28, she'd have more of a chance. It was still scary, but I thought we could make it. I kept all this to myself though. I just couldn't say it out loud.
Things stayed pretty much the same today as they were yesterday. I was getting up more to pee, I was off the mag, but that was pretty much it. I still sat up to eat (and a few more times throughout the day), but I still spent as much time flat as people would let me get away with. Later that day my regular OBGYN came in to check on me and it was nice to see her and talk to her. We asked about my cervix again to make sure we understood. She explained it much better (or I was more prepared to hear it). She said the cervix is like a rigid tube. That's the way you want it to stay until you're almost ready to deliver. Mine had started to thin and open before it was supposed to. The surgery closed it as far back as my other doctor could manage. This had helped make it more like a tube again. Over the past couple days, however, my cervix had become more like a funnel. It had thinned to where the stitches were. It wasn't really tube like anymore. She said this wasn't abnormal and that it wasn't extra cause for concern. It just meant that we were solely relying on the cerclage now. My other doctor felt confident in 3 of the 4 stitches, so there was still reason to hope. It made me feel better to talk to her. It was a better day after her visit.
That day Adam's Mom and sister came back. His Mom was going to take night shift that night and his sister was going to take the next night to give Mom and Adam a break. Adam went back to work that night. We had asked my regular OBGYN what she thought and she said going back to work was a good idea. Things were pretty status quo and it would be good for him to get out of the hospital and back to something close to normal. His boss was very supportive and said if I called and said he needed to come back that was no problem. Knowing that helped a lot.
I Skyped with one of my friends that night and it was nice to talk to her. I'd had a bad day and it was nice to get some of that out and hear her positivity. I also called Adam at work to tell him goodnight. I made sure to start by telling him everything was OK so he wouldn't worry. He said everyone at work was being very supportive and it had be an OK day, so that was good. My mother-in-law was wonderful. I was still using the potty chair and she got up every time to move it for me and help unhook me from all of the gadgets. I've always said I was lucky when it came to in-laws, but this experience has made it even more clear.
It wasn't the best day for me emotionally, but we were through another day and that meant a lot. We were only 2 days away from 22 weeks and another step closer to our goal of keeping her in as long as possible.
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