Thankful Day 5

Today I am thankful for my Perinatal Bereavement Support Group.  We had our monthly meeting this evening and I always leave feeling like a weight has been lifted.  I have a lot of people in my life who are supportive and I can talk to, but being able to share and talk with others who have experienced a loss means so much.  They make me feel less crazy.  Even though all of our experiences are different there are so many things that are similar and so many ways we can relate.  They help me see things from a different angle and give great advice.

Tonight the topic was the holidays.  It's something I've been actively avoiding thinking about.  I just kept thinking about getting through October and that nothing was really happening afterwards.  Now that we're through October I have to deal with the fact that there are still 2 months left in the year and they contain Thanksgiving and Christmas.  I don't know how I feel about that.  Thanksgiving I'm not too concerned about because while I enjoy the holiday it's never held a lot of personal significance for me.  Christmas, on the other hand, is a different story.

I'm one of those people who goes all out.  I love the decorations and the baking and the songs and the gift giving and gift making and the spirit.  I don't know how I feel about it this year.  I'm inclined to say I'll still do a lot of what I usually do because I get a lot of comfort from it.  But I need to realize that it's OK to do less, more or the same.  Whatever I feel up for, that's what I need to do.  I'm trying not to worry about it and just go with it.  What I feel like doing I'll do.  One of the main things that's been on my mind is gifts.  I'm usually almost done with my shopping by now and have started the handmade projects (or finished them).  I really haven't done anything.  At all.  So unlike me, but I just can't get myself to be motivated about it.  I love getting or making things for people I know they'll like.  One of my favorite things is seeing the look on someone's face when they like their gift.  I'm hoping I'll find that spark again.

We talked about a lot of other things as we always do and I left feeling more like myself.  I'm glad I have these mothers in my life (although we all wish we didn't have to be).