Support Group September

This month's support group topic was "Future Pregnancy."  I was a bit wary as Adam and I aren't there yet, but I knew going last month helped me and that we wouldn't only talk about the topic, so I went.  As with last month, I'm glad I did. It was the same group of us again and it was nice to see the familiar faces.

We talked about many things but probably half of the meeting we did spend on the specific topic.  All of the other women are at a year or very close (one in August and the other two in October) so this is something they have all been thinking about.  Listening to them talk about their fears and experiences about when to start trying again and what happened once they did was more helpful that I had thought it would be.  They brought up some things I wouldn't have thought about.  One of the mothers said that if she wasn't pregnant by a certain month she and her husband were going to stop trying for a few months because she didn't want to be going through pregnancy at the same time again. It's something I'd never considered before and I still don't know how I feel about it.  Part of me thinks that next time I'm going to be so nervous that it won't matter if I'm going through things at around the same time.  Then another part of me thinks that would make it 10 times worse.  Again, it's not something we're ready for yet so I don't have to think about it too much, but it's something to have in the back of my mind.

Another mother talked about her disappointment and frustration when she gets her period.  That is something I have thought about.  How am I going to handle that?  It took us a year the first time and a couple months the second time.  There is no way to know or guess how long it will take next time.  I don't want to dread that expected time every month but I also don't want to let myself be too hopeful.  I guess I'll just have to find some sort of balance once we get there and realize that I have to take each month as it comes.

The other mother talked about her struggles with fertility treatments.  They have been through another round and it didn't work.  She's to the point now where she's deciding how much further she wants to take it.  We're all so different, but we can all relate and support each other.

Another point of topic became where our babies are now.  Two of them were cremated and the other two of us had our daughters buried at Lexington Cemetery.  As that mother and I talked more we discovered that our daughters were actually very close to each other.  The next time I went to visit Madeline I brought a flower for her daughter as well and discovered they are 3 plots away from each other in the same row.  Another crazy thing about life.  It's comforting to know that when she visits her daughter she'll also spare a moment for Madeline as well (and I'll do the same).