On June 14th Adam and I took birthing class at our hospital. It's usually a 3 week course but it's only offered in the evenings on week nights. With Adam's schedule that didn't work for us. Luckily they also offer an all day (9am-4:30pm) course on a Saturday at least every other month. There wasn't one in July so I was glad June worked out for us. Plus it will give us more time to practice what we learned.
I wasn't sure what to expect or how I would feel about this class. It was called "Birthing the Natural Way." Just to be clear: I'm not against epidurals or pain meds . . . at all. Every woman needs to do what is best for her and I don't think it's productive to judge others for their choices in this. My life and situation are not another's. What works for me may not work for someone else and vice versa. While I've been though labor and birth before, it was a different situation so I wanted to learn some techniques to help me cope. I know my plan is probably cliche, but it's how I feel. I'd like to try to go through the whole process naturally but also want someone to tell me when the last time I can get an epidural is. I want to have the option if I decide I want it. I can't tell the future. I don't know how I'm going to feel that day. Lots of factors are going to affect how I feel. My emotional sate, weather I was induced or not (pitocin is no fun . . . I do know that from experience), how long it takes . . . all kinds of things. So I want all options available to me and we'll see how it goes. When Madeline was born it was important to me to feel the pain because I thought it might help with the emotional pain (I still don't know if that ended up being true, but it was the right decision for me at the time). Again, I'm all about options.
Anyway! I thought this class would be good to help us learn some techniques and at least feel more prepared and confident. Who knows what's going to happen on that day, but after taking the class I do feel more confident and prepared. We learned a lot.
The first part of class we learned about the first phase of labor and breathing techniques. We practiced all of them. At first I felt a little silly because there were at least 24 of us in the room making the sounds and breathing. But after the initial smile I shared with Adam I felt fine. We were all doing it after all. It may not seem like a lot, but from what we learned in class, talking to other women and reading it's amazing how important breathing (and the various ways of breathing) really is. We also learned some stretches to do with our partner that are good for everyday to help loosen things up to make labor a little easier. Relaxing is also important (makes sense . . . easier said than done). We also learned some massage techniques (mostly by the partners for the woman having the baby . . . I'm not ashamed to say I was excited about that part . . . Adam did a good job).
Then we moved into the second stage of labor and learned several positions to labor in. First we talked about them and the nurse leading the class demonstrated them. Then she set up stations around the room that we could rotate through to try them all. We also practiced our breathing. I liked some more than others, but we'll see how I feel on the day. I'm glad I learned lots of different ones so I can try something new if one position isn't working for me.
Next we talked about the final stage of labor and watched a video about several women giving birth. We saw the various positions they labored in as well as different positions for pushing. That was another thing I was glad to learn. Our hospital is supportive of pushing in different positions (not just on your back) as long as you and the baby are doing well. Then we took a break for lunch.
After lunch we had a guest speaker, a woman who had recently given birth after taking the class. She told us about her experience and things she found useful as well as things she didn't. Adam said he really appreciated this first hand knowledge being passed on. It's one thing to learn and think in the hypothetical, but she was able to give us true experience (He hasn't had friends and family to talk with this stuff about like I have). Then we did a review and talked a little about postpartum care and what to expect.
The next part was a tour of labor and delivery. Even though Adam and I know that floor quite well (spending a little less than 2 weeks there will do that) I was looking forward to seeing what an actual birthing bed looked like. My whole stay I was in a regular hospital bed. I had a lot of feelings about going up there (as did Adam). It was June 14th. We went to the hospital around 2am on June 15th of last year. We were at almost exactly a year. I hadn't been there since. On one hand I thought it would be good to get that initial walk onto the floor out of the way while I wasn't in labor, but on the other hand I knew it was gong to be emotional. Adam held my hand as we walked through the door and we walked toward a room. As we walked I was a bit on edge, but overall OK. Then we walked into the random room that had been picked for us to view. It just happened to be the room I was in for the first week I was in the hospital. This was good and bad. Bad because it was hard for me to focus on what our instructor was telling us because I just kept thinking about a year ago. Good because I learned that it affected me a lot more than I had thought it would. The leader of our support group had told us that if we knew the room we were in last time we could request not to be in the same room again if there were enough rooms available to do so. I didn't think it would really affect me because things were going to be so different this time so I just let that float by. But after being in that room again I can definitely say it affected me a lot more than I thought it would. And this wasn't the room I gave birth in! I'm glad I know this now. Now I can talk to our support group leader at the next meeting about it. Adam and I didn't say anything while we were in the room but as soon as we walked out (we were the last to leave) he whispered in my ear, "That was our first room wasn't it?" Yup. It affected him too. Now we know and hopefully there will be enough rooms available we won't have to be in either this time.
Next we saw where the mother and baby rooms were as well as the nursery. We didn't go in because it was quiet time. From 2pm-4pm and 2am-4am every day there are quiet hours where you won't be disturbed in your room by personnel at the hospital and they also request no visitors just to ensure everyone is able to get some rest and alone time. That was nice to learn too. Luckily I'd already seen a couple of these rooms because 2 of the women from my support group that were pregnant as well have had their babies and I went to see them.
After the tour we went back to the room we had been in and wrapped up with a relaxation session (so nice . . . I almost fell asleep), final review and any final questions. It was a long day but I think we both got a lot out of it, not just the knowledge but emotionally as well. We've even done a little practicing with our breathing together (since it's Adam's job to coach me and redirect me if I get distracted . . . he's been a wonderful support and good coach).
The class also helped me think about some other things with the birth that I know I need to be able to accept. Whatever is best for our baby I'm going to do. I'd like to have intermittent monitoring (of contractions and heartbeat) so I can move around more but if they need to monitor her the whole time I'll deal. There are still several positions I can be in even hooked up to the machines. I'd really like to do kangaroo care right away as well as try to nurse. However, I know that because of her heart defect they may need to take her and check her out. We'll see what happens. As long as I get her as soon as I can while still ensuring she's OK I'll be fine. I hadn't really thought about writing a birth plan because if there's anything I've learned (from my own experience and others'), birth is unpredictable. Part of me feels like writing it all down is just setting yourself up for failure. However, after taking this class I feel a little different. Once I'm in active labor it will be harder for me to communicate what I want. I can write my birth plan in a flexible way and that way I know it's all somewhere and I don't have to say it over and over.
The class made it that much more real. We're having a baby . . . soon. I still can't believe we're here most days. I'm so thankful. I continue to be a jumble of emotions, but as we get closer to the cerclage coming out and her due date I feel more hints of happiness and excitement.
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